Your Independence

Pegine’s Motivational Times
by Pegine Echevarria


I’ve got the power. It is a great day when you realize that you have the power to change your life, your perceptions of the world and your willingness to decide to succeed, no matter what.

It is shedding the layer of thoughts, ideas and perceptions that has held you back, and, instead embracing new ideas, new thoughts and beliefs about yourself and what you can be.

The decision to be free and independent – to truly declare and shout from the roof tops: “I am the only one who will decide what I want for me. I am the only person who has the power to think for me and to choose what thoughts I have. I can choose who I want to be.” That is true freedom.

Don’t you love being around happy, joyous, enthusiastic, smart, prosperous people? Don’t you enjoy learning from people who see the world of possibilities and who can help you be better?

Independence is the glorious gift you give yourself when you realize that what others think of you doesn’t matter to you. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.

You can choose to be that happy, joyous, enthusiastic, smart and prosperous person.

Listen to what you say about yourself. Listen to the words you use to describe yourself. When someone says something to you that you don’t like or that makes you feel uncomfortable what do you say to yourself?

The other day I was on a plane and heard two little kids fighting with each other. One of the girls said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” I wanted to applaud her. “Yes, you are right!”

The words someone uses when they talk to you, the tone of their voice or their facial expressions only effect you when you give them meaning. The thoughts that go through your mind are the meaning. Have you ever noticed how one person can say something and it doesn’t faze you, but when another person says the same thing you react (positively or negatively). You react because you gave those words meaning – through thought.

One of my favorite quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” That quote used to make me so angry. I could prove the times that others made me feel inferior, until one day I realized that it was my thoughts that were filling me with negativity, anger and upset. The people weren’t making me feel inferior. I was doing it to myself.

Both the childhood rhyme and Eleanor Roosevelt’s comment drive home the fact that it isn’t what others say to us that affects us, but rather what we say to ourselves.

There are people who are reading this who will disagree with me. They will want to cite examples of people who were hurt, abused or victimized, because people called them names. Years ago I would have agreed with them. I could show lots of people who were hurt by others, including myself. However, what others said is not where the pain lies. It is within your mind and your thoughts about what others said that causes the pain.

The effects of your thoughts impact your life, work and business. We act on what we think. I recently heard from a friend who was so frustrated by a co worker. This co worker always assumed that everyone was out to get her. My friend was new to the organization and was asked to teach this person (I will call her Jane) a new process. This process was new to the organization. No one, except my friend, knew the process. One of her job responsibilities was to train everyone in the process. She set up an appointment with Jane and met her at the appointed time. Jane‘s first statement was, “So they think I’m not capable and don’t know what I’m doing. Is that why they sent you? Well I’m not going to make this easy for you. I know what I’m doing and I don’t need a tutor. ”

Obviously Jane had a lot going on in her mind – and the thoughts weren’t good or positive. After working with her for 45 minutes my friend decided to end the session. She reported the results of the session to her supervisor. Through the grapevine my friend learned that the woman had sued the company several times and that she was considered a “mean, vicious, super sensitive person”. Have you ever worked with someone like that?

[Note to HR professionals: I agree that there are steps HR can take in this situation.]

Everyone is free to accept negative impressions and to continually repeat them over and over and over… or not.

It is within your power to be independent and to change your thoughts about yourself and to think good, positive and prosperous thoughts.

You have the power.

This is not easy especially when you have spent many years believing negative thoughts about yourself.

It is time to change and to be independent. Choose to think happy, joyous, enthusiastic, smart, supportive and prosperous thoughts. You have the power.

Pegine’s Thought of the Month:

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin to Pooh ~A. A. Milne


How many times did we hear from our parents after we did something wrong, “What were you thinking?” and our response was “I dunno.”

That response doesn’t it cut it anymore. You have to become very aware of your thoughts. You need to know what you are thinking. You have to pay attention. Think.

Try this action this month: pay attention to your thoughts. Listen to what you are saying to yourself about yourself.

If you aren’t your greatest cheerleader, if you aren’t celebrating yourself and applauding yourself, you must take charge and change your thoughts.

If you don’t… who will?

Kick-butt action:

Think like Muhammad Ali. He said, “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.”

You are the greatest you there ever was!!

Reprinted from Pegine’s Motivational Ezine for Leaders”. Subscribe at Pegine motivates leaders in a diverse world. (c)2009