He Said, She Said
by Ridgely Goldsborough

"Not my fault," she said.

"Not my wood," he answered.

"Joe didn’t do his part," she added.

"Neither did Pat," he tacked on.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Finger-pointing has evolved from isolated instances to standard fare. We have grown mentally fat.

I’m sick of it.

I doubt we would ever hear George Washington, Thomas Jefferson or Abe dishing out blame like short order cooks flip hamburgers.

Nowadays, "he said, she said" has become a mantra, passed down from parents to children. A few weeks ago I heard a child claim that they couldn’t do their homework because the teacher didn’t make the assignment clear enough.

Huh?

Here’s the kicker—the parent agreed with them.

What?

Oh, the shame.

Disgusting.

Where’s our grit?

My image of America conjures up Teddy Roosevelt charging the hill or the New York Fire Department rushing into ground zero, not a bunch of namby-pamby blame casters suing fast food joints for stuffing their own faces. What’s up with that?

Take a look at your hand. Every time you point a finger, three fingers point back at you—as it should be. You are in charge of you, nobody else, not now, not ever.

I love it when I ask someone how they’re doing and they reply:

"Can’t complain."

My response never changes:

"Wouldn’t do you any good if you did."

Complaint and blame focus our attention on the problem and away from the solution. Sure, sometimes passing the buck may appear easier. It’s not. All it does is delay confronting the issue that invariably compounds and gets worse. Pull up your chinstraps, take a shot of courage, whatever. We need a serious dose of personal responsibility.

I once had the privilege of attending a speech by General Norman Shwarzkoff. He shared with the audience the creed by which he governed his troupes:

Rule Thirteen—When in command, take charge.

Guess what? When it comes to your life, you’re in command.

So take charge, total charge, of all aspects.

If you don’t like your boss, acquire some new skill sets and get a better job.

If you don’t like your body, set the alarm for 30 minutes earlier, park yourself into your favourite tennies and start walking.

If you don’t have a great relationship, work on your listening skills and go meet some folk.

You’ll need to do something different if you want a different result.

Enough of the bad-mouthing, lamenting and singing the blame blues.

All it does is get you down and keep you there.

Do me a favour. Just once today, stop yourself. As the words form on your tongue, swallow them. Gulp hard. Instead of looking for an excuse or a culprit, ask yourself the question:

"What can I do…? How can I change…?"

Your own response may surprise you.

It might even bring a smile.

Solutions generally do.

That’s A View from The Ridge . . .  

Author Ridgely Goldsborough publishes The Daily Column; humorous and inspirational stories designed to touch our hearts. Please take a moment to subscribe at no charge at www.aviewfromtheridge.com.